Extract

Starring Jason Bateman, Ben Affleck and Mila Kunis

Mike Judge makes a great movie every 10 years or so and I hope I don't have to wait another 10 for the next. From Office Space in 1999 to the present with Extract. Mike Judge takes what he knows best (working class scenarios) and brings them to life for our amusement. The cast here is near perfect and there isn't one weak link in the bunch. Hell, Gene Simmons is in this and he is great!! Ben Affleck is also especially noteworthy and I find he shines a lot brighter in little rolls like this as opposed to his so called leading man endeavours. The glue here however is of course Jason Bateman who's comedic timing hasn't skipped a beat since the early 80s when he was cast opposite Ricky Schroeder in Silver Spoons and then later fired for consistently upstaging him.
Bateman plays a flavor extract manufacturer who deals on a day to day basis with an over bearing neighbour, a cold wife, ignorant workers and a drug using best friend. None of this is far fetched and although some of the scenarios within are of course unlikely, they are however happening everyday.
A couple of weeks is all it takes for things to come tumbling down in Batemans perfect little world and watching him deal with it all is treat for the viewers. After about an hour you catch yourself wondering where it might be going and how it might eventually end and thankfully it takes the high road.
I saw a review for this movie back in September and couldn't wait for its release but sadly it never came to my town and I fear that along with several other seemingly big releases that I had seen previews for (in actual theaters) are choosing to go straight to Blu-ray and DVD to avoid the cost and hassle. That's not to say that the movies in question aren't good enough to be released but rather the popularity of Blu-rays is soaring right now and sales are through the roof so why not take the comedies and little dramas that don't exactly require a giant theater screen and deafening surround sound and cut out the middle man?
That is another topic for another day so in the mean time do yourself a favour and find this gem wherever Blu-rays are sold and treat yourself to someone else's problems for once.

Rating 4 pool cleanings out of 5

The Worst Of 2009

Here is my annual top 5 worst list of movies the 2009 edition

5. WOLVERINE. What an overblown mess from beginning to end. With a fairly decent budget behind it the special effects were average at best and the action was redundant. Add to that deadly mix, a terrible script and some unbalanced casting and we are left with easily the worst of the X MEN franchise. This is a movie that debuted with an opening weekend take of 88 million and the following week managing a laughable 9 million thanks in part to a firestorm of word of mouth that absolutely destroyed its chances of breaking any more box office records. A 90% drop in sales is no fluke folks.

4. SAW 6. For the love of God. One of the cast members in this pile of blood soaked garbage actually won their role by competing in a reality show contest. That's the calibre of acting here, fawking contest winners!!!!. Sufficed to say, you get what you pay for. Pure nonsense from the opening sequence to the supposed story to the joke of an ending that seemed like it was written as an inside joke. Please oh please let the series end with this one. It was the weakest debut of all 6 in the series and hopefully that's a good enough indication for the studios to pull the plug on dear old Jigsaw (who by the way died 3 movies ago).

3. YEAR ONE. A rare miss by everyone involved. The leads tried and failed to bring the story to life and the jokes were juvenile and frankly beneath the stars themselves. Urine and fart humour on top of non existent chemistry between the so called love interests made for difficult viewing at times. A shame really.

2. OBSERVE AND REPORT. Mean spirited and unfunny. If your high school bully made a movie, this would be it. It was hard to watch, taught us nothing and seemed like a bad dream gone awry. Imagine Napoleon dynamite only with heroine use and date rape. I have no clue what in the hell Seth Rogan was thinking and wish him all the best but maybe he should stick with the ha ha. Cant wait to add his version of The Green Hornet on this list for next year. Note to Seth (super heroes DON'T have bunny teeth).

1. STREET FIGHTER THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI. Wow. Hands down the worst performance by an actor in a big budget release that I have ever seen in my life and Ive seen over 2000 movies. Think about that folks. Chris Kleins character in this joke of a movie was so completely ridiculous in every scene he was in that its almost as if he tried to mix up the directions on purpose. I suppose if you already knew you were in a terrible movie and just wanted to have a little fun for yourself then it might actually be funny to play every scene differently. If the situation was dire, then he was goofy or cocky and if the scene was playful then he was as serious as a heart attack. One critic actually wrote that Chris Klein failed to convince him that he was walking into a room.
The movie itself was full of what looked like stock footage of explosions from other movies and some of the absolute worst casting in recent years. The female lead here played by Kristen Kreuk has a scene involving dancing seductively with another female in a club but the other woman looks like she could be Kreuks mother. Fail.
Another casting nightmare was that of Taboo of the Black Eyed Peas playing the part of Vega and I'm sorry but Vega is a character that goes to great extents to protect his face because he is a great looking man and Taboo, well, isn't. Fail.
I cant really add up all of the failures in this one because I only give myself an hour per review entry but you get the idea.

There ya have it gang. And as always, feel free to add your picks or opinions on each and every entry in the comment section below. Stay tuned for the top 5 BEST movies of 09 coming soon.

THE BLACK CROWES CABIN FEVER

Starring The Black Crowes Christopher Robinson, Richard Robinson, Steve Gorman, Sven Pipien, Luther Dickinson and Adam MacDougall with special guest Levon Helm

There is a first time for everything in rock and roll and with that being said, the Crowes set out for an attempt at something that seemed impossible to pull off in their previous 20 years and that was to combine the aspect of recording a double live album while also being filmed as a motion picture. You see folks, the bulk of all live albums have that whole hit or miss aspect to them and rarely do the bands in question decide to release any of the bad shows and nor should they. The challenge in this one one was not only to pull off a double live album but to have it be all new material and on top of that, they did it in Levon Helms (The Band) cabin in the woods in Woodstock New York with a modest few hundred people in attendance.
The songs in question consist of the odd cover and for the most part it seems the Black Crowes have continued to evolve much to the delight of Helm who is seen in one segment in a sit down with lead singer Chris Robinson as they discuss their 20 year journey as a band and Helm tells Chris how pleased he is with what they have done and what they have become. Quite the endorsement.
The performances are simple yet powerful and the harmony is remarkable given the small amount of rehearsal time involved. Switching from Southern rock to rockabilly and from slide guitar to fiddle and sitar the Black Crowes demonstrate why they have such a loyal following to this day and a reputation as one one of the best live acts today.
In between the songs we are treated lo little vignettes mostly featuring some funny stories from Chris and some behind the scenes looks at the weekend in the cabin. The banter shows how close knit the band has become and the whole atmosphere seems like a family get together over the holidays. The fans are treated like family and the brothers Robinson joke back and forth like siblings do at these types of things.
Chris remarks at one point to his brother who is about to sing that the pressure is all on him and the crowd chuckles but the laughter subsides as the full time guitarist begins to sing a Velvet Underground song and the performance is spot on and one of the best in the movie and on the album.
I have but one complaint about this endeavor and that is that there are several instances through out where the Crowes mention this being a double live album and the movie is sort of based on that notion but the problem is that when I bought the album entitled Before The Frost, there was a card inside that had a code and web address to go to to download the companion album. Don't get me wrong here, that's a nice gesture and all being free and what not but I would much rather have a tangible package that included the entire recording. But that's just me.
If you're a fan, then this is a must and if you think the Black Crowes were a one hit wonder and haven't heard from them since Hard To Handle and She Talks To Angels then just keep on walkin because us real fans know the score.

Rating 4 1/2 beards out of 6

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2012

Starring John Cusack and left over footage from Titanic and Dantes Peak

Clocking in at a whopping 2 hours and 45 minutes this disaster flick can safely say that it is indeed the mother of all doomsday movies. Being the best of the bunch of the corniest movies of all time is quite the feat. Well done.
No point in going into the story on this one other than its about a guy trying to save his loved ones. Dont get me wrong here, the images that unfold before your eyes are something to behold and its a visual feast and all but it just seems a bit much after the 2 hour mark.
I lost count after 5 or 6 times where someone would tell another character to come here and look at this or youve got to see this or you need to see this. It got old quick. Another weak aspect here was maybe just maybe the worst Arnold Schwarzenegger impression Ive ever endured. They had him on a t.v in the background and it was terrible, not to mention inaccurate as his last year as Governor is this year. To be so sloppy with details like that when the whole basis of the movie is oh so very detail oriented is just lazy.
For the simplest form of entertainment, this movie wins and should be taken in on the big screen and would be wasted at home regardless of how big you think your flat screen is (it aint 50 feet wide).
Based on all of that, check your brain at the door and get a large popcorn because you will have eaten a small one by the 20% mark and sit back while modern technology and cheese have sex in front of you for close to 3 hours

Rating 2 1/2 Jaw dropping scenes out of 5

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