My 58th movie this year was Valkerie with Tom Cruise and I wont really get into a review rather, but just right to my challenge.It is as follows......Smoking in the movies is maybe, just maybe the most irresponsible aspect of the movie making industry.I am well aware that this was brought on by having just seen a period piece war movie and I am also very much aware that there were a lot of smokers back then, but here is my point.Would anyone having just seen this movie set in nazi Germany in 1944 even notice if the film went the entire 2 hours without one cigarette?
Probably not.
I have a fun little game for you all in fact, and it goes like this.
STEP 1
Name 10 movies off of the top of your head that you have seen in the last couple of years or even some of your all time favourites.
STEP 2
To the best of your knowledge, try to recall how many of the 10 include scenes with either smoking or guns.
STEP 3
Marvel at the ignorantly high percentage in wich one or both of those occur.
It may not be fair to lump in guns with the cigs but the two actually typically go hand in hand.And it might not seem obvious at first with the guns, but keep in mind any scene with a cop in the backround.
These are sad staples in the movie industry and in most cases completely unneccesary.Its sort of like watching a soap opera during a scene with just one person.Idealy that single actor is busying him or herself with a glass of water/coffee or talking on the phone to take way from the fact that absolutely nothing else is going on in that scene.
More to the point and there is a point here, movies are the big brother to the world of television and t.v has its fair share of this pandemic as well.Never mind the cop shows.How about the sitcoms that the youth are watching.I wont get into the mass amounts of booze consumed on the small screen or even the guns but the whole point of attacking these dinks about smoking is that soooooo many stupid kids out there can get there hands on smokes a lot easier than booze or guns.Most high schools have areas just outside the school limit where these geniuses gather in there attempt to look cool.But there arent any gun/booze pits readily available.
So sorry smokers, you guys are bearing the brunt of this particular rant, but dont blame me.
Blame the movies.
There you go Hollywood, can you do it?Can you make a movie without guns or smoking, better yet, can you make 10 movies in one year without them?
This probably wont sway anyone in a high enough position to matter, nor will it sway any of the weak minded cool kids that still smoke.But if I dont start this movement now, no one will help it take off.
My closing comment is a fun one and lends creedance to my challenge.
Ive seen 58 movies so far this year.
40 of them had either smoking or guns or both in them.
Put THAT in your pipe Hollywood.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
The top 5 worst superhero movies of all time.
Ive decided to create a buffer between my next posting wich is to rate and review the top 5 best flicks of 08.So in the meantime in between time here we have a summary of the worst 5 superhero movies of all time in all their intended glory.
5.SUPERMAN IV THE QUEST FOR PEACE.1987.Christopher Reeve,Gene Hackman
This unfortunate entry and conclusion to a series was the victim of movie making gone political.
The message is simple yet overwhelming...nukes are bad.And so who better to drive the point home than the big guy himself and his ragtag crew of familiar buddy faces.If the intended topical point were to be successful it would have to be entertaining.It was neither.To prove this fact, we need look no further than the actress who portays Martha Kent in the show Smallville and who ironically also played Lana in an earlier Superman movie(Annette Otoole) and her comments in an interview where she was describing her times filming Superman III and she looked back on it fondly.She was then asked which entry in the series was her favourite of the 4 and she remarked quite simply ¨there was a fourth?¨
4.DAREDEVIL.2003.Ben Affleck,Jennifer Garner,Jon Favreau
This ho-hum comicbook adaptation for all intents and purposes was a well made action movie and the chemistry between Ben and Jen was genuine, much like it was when he was making ho-hum movies with his ex, the other Jen.That aside, it suffered from the bulk of its audience having no clue who any of the major players were in this confusing and pointless clash.And why make it to begin with?Of all the comics to choose from, we are treated to a blind womanizer who can twirl a baton almost as good as any runner up miss teen U.S.A.
3.CAPTAIN AMERICA.1990.Matt Salinger,Ned Beatty
Whats that you say?You didnt know this movie exhisted?Youre not alone.I remember seeing a preview for this movie in the summer before its release when the biggest movie of its time (Batman)1989 was swallowing the industry whole.The preview for Captain America was so simple and dramatic and it had you craving more.The preview was simply the captains famous shield flying through the air in slo motion towards some baddies in a dark alley.You knew what it was and because you had just finished watching an awe filled Batman, you were excited at the prospect of another such movie.
Well, 14 months later, a friend and I rented Captain America at a video store because it was yanked from the theatres after a 5 day stint.To this day, I would still like my two dollars back.
I actually find myself at a loss for words at how bad this movie was.Lets just say that if you have children under the age of 9 you could actually give one of them a garbage can lid and grab a camcorder and make a better version.In fact, let me give you the fifty bucks(double the original budget) to help you produce it.
2.PASSION OF THE CHRIST.2004.Jim Caviezel,Maia Morgentsern
Cmon!! He barely even used his powers in this one.
1.FANTASTIC 4 RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER.2007.Jessica Alba,Michal Chiklis ,The other 2
Once again I was giddy for the previews for this one.They were soooo well done.This is one of those all too common cases where if you have seen the preview, you have seen the movie.The first 20 minutes fly by because you still think that its going to be awesome on account of the potential and the ultimate question of is he bad or is he good.Whats bad here is Albas ¨acting¨.This chick couldnt act her way out of a wet paper bag, even if the role were acting her way out of a wet paper bag poorly.
Everyone here looks disinterested.Almost as if they were carrying out some sort of community service ordered by a judge who was a fan of the storyline.Again the potential was there and it just didnt live up to its hype.Kinda like that time I took this girl out on a date who was a bonafied model.I bragged for days about how i was going on a date with a model that i knew and I had built it up sooo much in my head, that when the date was taking place, I found myself wishing I were someplace else.She liked to talk about herself a LOT.This movie does the same thing.And when the lights came on at the end of the date\movie I realized they werent as attractive as I had built them up to be.
5.SUPERMAN IV THE QUEST FOR PEACE.1987.Christopher Reeve,Gene Hackman
This unfortunate entry and conclusion to a series was the victim of movie making gone political.
The message is simple yet overwhelming...nukes are bad.And so who better to drive the point home than the big guy himself and his ragtag crew of familiar buddy faces.If the intended topical point were to be successful it would have to be entertaining.It was neither.To prove this fact, we need look no further than the actress who portays Martha Kent in the show Smallville and who ironically also played Lana in an earlier Superman movie(Annette Otoole) and her comments in an interview where she was describing her times filming Superman III and she looked back on it fondly.She was then asked which entry in the series was her favourite of the 4 and she remarked quite simply ¨there was a fourth?¨
4.DAREDEVIL.2003.Ben Affleck,Jennifer Garner,Jon Favreau
This ho-hum comicbook adaptation for all intents and purposes was a well made action movie and the chemistry between Ben and Jen was genuine, much like it was when he was making ho-hum movies with his ex, the other Jen.That aside, it suffered from the bulk of its audience having no clue who any of the major players were in this confusing and pointless clash.And why make it to begin with?Of all the comics to choose from, we are treated to a blind womanizer who can twirl a baton almost as good as any runner up miss teen U.S.A.
3.CAPTAIN AMERICA.1990.Matt Salinger,Ned Beatty
Whats that you say?You didnt know this movie exhisted?Youre not alone.I remember seeing a preview for this movie in the summer before its release when the biggest movie of its time (Batman)1989 was swallowing the industry whole.The preview for Captain America was so simple and dramatic and it had you craving more.The preview was simply the captains famous shield flying through the air in slo motion towards some baddies in a dark alley.You knew what it was and because you had just finished watching an awe filled Batman, you were excited at the prospect of another such movie.
Well, 14 months later, a friend and I rented Captain America at a video store because it was yanked from the theatres after a 5 day stint.To this day, I would still like my two dollars back.
I actually find myself at a loss for words at how bad this movie was.Lets just say that if you have children under the age of 9 you could actually give one of them a garbage can lid and grab a camcorder and make a better version.In fact, let me give you the fifty bucks(double the original budget) to help you produce it.
2.PASSION OF THE CHRIST.2004.Jim Caviezel,Maia Morgentsern
Cmon!! He barely even used his powers in this one.
1.FANTASTIC 4 RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER.2007.Jessica Alba,Michal Chiklis ,The other 2
Once again I was giddy for the previews for this one.They were soooo well done.This is one of those all too common cases where if you have seen the preview, you have seen the movie.The first 20 minutes fly by because you still think that its going to be awesome on account of the potential and the ultimate question of is he bad or is he good.Whats bad here is Albas ¨acting¨.This chick couldnt act her way out of a wet paper bag, even if the role were acting her way out of a wet paper bag poorly.
Everyone here looks disinterested.Almost as if they were carrying out some sort of community service ordered by a judge who was a fan of the storyline.Again the potential was there and it just didnt live up to its hype.Kinda like that time I took this girl out on a date who was a bonafied model.I bragged for days about how i was going on a date with a model that i knew and I had built it up sooo much in my head, that when the date was taking place, I found myself wishing I were someplace else.She liked to talk about herself a LOT.This movie does the same thing.And when the lights came on at the end of the date\movie I realized they werent as attractive as I had built them up to be.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
best and worst movies of 08
Welcome everyone to my very first blog.What we have here to day is a list of the best and worst movies that i have seen this year.Its been a slow year by my standards as I have only seen 55 movies so far in 08, a far cry from my record of 116 some ten years ago.And to clarify, these are movies that were viewed in theatres and not rentals or t.v.Support the arts!!
With that in mind...
We start with the worst.In top 5 format we have
5.The Mummy curse of the something or other.Starring Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Yetis
Heres a movie that can boast quite possibly the worst moment in cinematic history.Theres a scene in this horrid flick involving several yeti in the midst of a fight between good and not so good during wich said yeti kicks a bad guy and sends him flying threw the air and right between two temple towers.The kicking Yeti looks over at his yeti buddy who after watching the bad guy fly and then throws his arms up as if to signal a good field goal.
I stayed and finished the movie anyways.
4.The House Bunny.Starring Anna Ferris and Bruce Willis and Demi Moore lesbian daughter.
Ive but one gigantic complaint with this movie.Its about a washed up playboy playmate suddenly thrust into the real world outside the mansion.Heres the problem, Anna Ferris is playing a character who takes off her clothes for a living.Theres a scene with her naked bum in this movie and that only makes sense.What doesnt make sense however is the fact that its NOT her butt.Its a body double!That alone is reason enough to avoid this tripe.Although the art direction was beautiful on the other hand.What?
3.10,000B.C.Starring a boatload of terrible CGI and historical follies
O.K. Where to begin....Lets see, do I start with a life or death chase between our heroes and killer osteriches?Thats right. Osteriches.
Or do I begin with the scene at the building of the pyramids where the slave girl cries and her mascara runs.Thats right.Mascara.
The best part of this movie was my popcorn.
2.Burn after reading.Starring Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand
Everything here is sound.The acting is top notch, the players are funny, the story is well written and its well directed.I just found myself not caring in the slightest about what was unfolding.I was actually overwhelmed at the lack of pacing as this potentially hilarious black comedy simply inched along.I tried to like it, I really did.But in the end it was ultimately the most boring movie of the year.
1.88 Minutes.Starring Al Pacino, Leelee Sobieski, Al Pacinos hair.
Heres the scoop for anyone who doesnt know.This movie was initially passed on for a big screen release and went dircetly to DVD.What happened was, the writers strike of 08 forced reluctant studio heads to keep our mega movieplexes filled without interruption.This meant a breath of new life for 88 minutes and several other sub-par flicks.
The result is a ludacris game of cat and mouse with a terribly cast set of actors bumbling their way towards a paycheck.The casting was particularly hilarious when Pacino shared scenes with Sobieski who is easily 7 inches taller than her lead.They looked adorable.Another worthy mention, adding to this train wreck is Pacinos hair in this one.WOW just WOW.
I wish this movie came in chain letter form or were viral so that I could send it to all of you as some sort of relief after having had to sit thru it myself.A sort of 2 Pacinos 1 cup if you will .
Well, there you have it folks.MY worst of 08.stay tuned for the best of.coming soon.
Yours always in entertainment truth hurts.
Jordan Myles Minter
With that in mind...
We start with the worst.In top 5 format we have
5.The Mummy curse of the something or other.Starring Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Yetis
Heres a movie that can boast quite possibly the worst moment in cinematic history.Theres a scene in this horrid flick involving several yeti in the midst of a fight between good and not so good during wich said yeti kicks a bad guy and sends him flying threw the air and right between two temple towers.The kicking Yeti looks over at his yeti buddy who after watching the bad guy fly and then throws his arms up as if to signal a good field goal.
I stayed and finished the movie anyways.
4.The House Bunny.Starring Anna Ferris and Bruce Willis and Demi Moore lesbian daughter.
Ive but one gigantic complaint with this movie.Its about a washed up playboy playmate suddenly thrust into the real world outside the mansion.Heres the problem, Anna Ferris is playing a character who takes off her clothes for a living.Theres a scene with her naked bum in this movie and that only makes sense.What doesnt make sense however is the fact that its NOT her butt.Its a body double!That alone is reason enough to avoid this tripe.Although the art direction was beautiful on the other hand.What?
3.10,000B.C.Starring a boatload of terrible CGI and historical follies
O.K. Where to begin....Lets see, do I start with a life or death chase between our heroes and killer osteriches?Thats right. Osteriches.
Or do I begin with the scene at the building of the pyramids where the slave girl cries and her mascara runs.Thats right.Mascara.
The best part of this movie was my popcorn.
2.Burn after reading.Starring Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand
Everything here is sound.The acting is top notch, the players are funny, the story is well written and its well directed.I just found myself not caring in the slightest about what was unfolding.I was actually overwhelmed at the lack of pacing as this potentially hilarious black comedy simply inched along.I tried to like it, I really did.But in the end it was ultimately the most boring movie of the year.
1.88 Minutes.Starring Al Pacino, Leelee Sobieski, Al Pacinos hair.
Heres the scoop for anyone who doesnt know.This movie was initially passed on for a big screen release and went dircetly to DVD.What happened was, the writers strike of 08 forced reluctant studio heads to keep our mega movieplexes filled without interruption.This meant a breath of new life for 88 minutes and several other sub-par flicks.
The result is a ludacris game of cat and mouse with a terribly cast set of actors bumbling their way towards a paycheck.The casting was particularly hilarious when Pacino shared scenes with Sobieski who is easily 7 inches taller than her lead.They looked adorable.Another worthy mention, adding to this train wreck is Pacinos hair in this one.WOW just WOW.
I wish this movie came in chain letter form or were viral so that I could send it to all of you as some sort of relief after having had to sit thru it myself.A sort of 2 Pacinos 1 cup if you will .
Well, there you have it folks.MY worst of 08.stay tuned for the best of.coming soon.
Yours always in entertainment truth hurts.
Jordan Myles Minter
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