Jordan Minter Reviews: The Haunting in Connecticut

Starring Elias Koteas,Virginia Madsen and some borrowed cliches

Honestly,what does it take to get a new and refreshing horror flick into theaters these days?I didn't really care that this was based on true events,aren't they all?
This one took roughly 40 minutes to start explaining itself and by that point,all of the typical gimmicks were used to try to get you to care.We have the obligatory shot of seeing countless people in the frame that the hero can't see.Followed by the tiresome and slow and creepy build up to the false scare.And what aspiring horror movie would be worth its salt without the twist ending?
I can name 5 bad horror movies that were better than this one.Just off the top of my head,we have The Grudge,The Unborn,Quarantine,Friday the 13Th and The House Bunny.
Those at least had some new ideas or a formula that actually delivered.
The Haunting In Connecticut is proof that just because the story is true,that doesn't necessarily mean its worth telling.
One night while working at a downtown bar,I watched from across a crowded dance floor as a man broke a pool cue across his girlfriend's face.That was horrifying and true.Aren't you curious as to what happened to that man after?Or if the girl is o.k?
That tiny tidbit has you wondering to yourself about the people involved,whereas this boring "true" movie failed on every account to hold my interest.
On a peculiar note,I noticed after the film ended,that there was no foul language or nudity for that matter and that got me to thinking that maybe this really was a true story.If that's the case and the people involved in the actual accounts wanted to keep it as pure as possible,that may explain the boredom I felt.
This was front page fodder in a small town and at the most,would have made the 6 o'clock news a couple of nights in a row,but to think it had the chops to make the leap to the big screen,was a massively over confidant mistake.
If this was such a great story,why did it take 20 years to get out?
And to let you off the hook with the bar story,the girl was hit directly on the forehead and didn't get a scratch on her.The boyfriend made his way outside and was greeted by several staff and then the police.He is not quite so handsome anymore.
Now for the twist.They've been together ever since.Something happened that night and we still don't know all the details nearly 7 years later,but I guaranty its a better true story that The Haunting in Connecticut.

Rating 1 eyelid out of 5