The Worst Of 2009

Here is my annual top 5 worst list of movies the 2009 edition

5. WOLVERINE. What an overblown mess from beginning to end. With a fairly decent budget behind it the special effects were average at best and the action was redundant. Add to that deadly mix, a terrible script and some unbalanced casting and we are left with easily the worst of the X MEN franchise. This is a movie that debuted with an opening weekend take of 88 million and the following week managing a laughable 9 million thanks in part to a firestorm of word of mouth that absolutely destroyed its chances of breaking any more box office records. A 90% drop in sales is no fluke folks.

4. SAW 6. For the love of God. One of the cast members in this pile of blood soaked garbage actually won their role by competing in a reality show contest. That's the calibre of acting here, fawking contest winners!!!!. Sufficed to say, you get what you pay for. Pure nonsense from the opening sequence to the supposed story to the joke of an ending that seemed like it was written as an inside joke. Please oh please let the series end with this one. It was the weakest debut of all 6 in the series and hopefully that's a good enough indication for the studios to pull the plug on dear old Jigsaw (who by the way died 3 movies ago).

3. YEAR ONE. A rare miss by everyone involved. The leads tried and failed to bring the story to life and the jokes were juvenile and frankly beneath the stars themselves. Urine and fart humour on top of non existent chemistry between the so called love interests made for difficult viewing at times. A shame really.

2. OBSERVE AND REPORT. Mean spirited and unfunny. If your high school bully made a movie, this would be it. It was hard to watch, taught us nothing and seemed like a bad dream gone awry. Imagine Napoleon dynamite only with heroine use and date rape. I have no clue what in the hell Seth Rogan was thinking and wish him all the best but maybe he should stick with the ha ha. Cant wait to add his version of The Green Hornet on this list for next year. Note to Seth (super heroes DON'T have bunny teeth).

1. STREET FIGHTER THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI. Wow. Hands down the worst performance by an actor in a big budget release that I have ever seen in my life and Ive seen over 2000 movies. Think about that folks. Chris Kleins character in this joke of a movie was so completely ridiculous in every scene he was in that its almost as if he tried to mix up the directions on purpose. I suppose if you already knew you were in a terrible movie and just wanted to have a little fun for yourself then it might actually be funny to play every scene differently. If the situation was dire, then he was goofy or cocky and if the scene was playful then he was as serious as a heart attack. One critic actually wrote that Chris Klein failed to convince him that he was walking into a room.
The movie itself was full of what looked like stock footage of explosions from other movies and some of the absolute worst casting in recent years. The female lead here played by Kristen Kreuk has a scene involving dancing seductively with another female in a club but the other woman looks like she could be Kreuks mother. Fail.
Another casting nightmare was that of Taboo of the Black Eyed Peas playing the part of Vega and I'm sorry but Vega is a character that goes to great extents to protect his face because he is a great looking man and Taboo, well, isn't. Fail.
I cant really add up all of the failures in this one because I only give myself an hour per review entry but you get the idea.

There ya have it gang. And as always, feel free to add your picks or opinions on each and every entry in the comment section below. Stay tuned for the top 5 BEST movies of 09 coming soon.