Starring 10 people you will never hear from again.
I think we are at number 12 and counting for good old Jason and his everlasting franchise . This time around he has put up some amazing numbers to the tune of 42 million bucks for the opening weekend.I, like most others that sold out theaters nation wide ,was eager to see this rejuvenated take on a sub par series and was so very very disappointed.
Unlike Freddy Vs Jason from a few years back, this movie lacked the charisma and vision of that one and was more of a simple rehashing of all those before it.You dont care one iota for any characters in this one and after a 20 minute introduction, thats right 20 minutes,the story kicks off for a second time and introduces even less talented actors and thats saying something.There are actually two women in this wreck that are so similar in looks that I had a difficult time discerning between the two after one was killed.I asked my friend at the time if it was the sister or the friend of the so called lead.
Now onto the God awful dialogue.Heres a sampling for you;"Say hello to your mommy for me, in hell!".Even worse than that, in one scene an "actor" hands Jason a hockey stick and utters "here ya go, it completes your look".
Wow.
The only thing that genuine fans can enjoy here are the different ways that our anti hero dispatches the chumps.For the most part, there is nothing new, the odd machete,bear trap,campfire and the token impalings.What is new, is the fact that our buddy Jason is now an excellent marksman with a bow and arrow as well.
Now onto the traditional hokey false ending.After one of the survivors wins the showdown at the end and sticks Jason in the chest with his own machete, he is then wrapped in canvas bag and dumped back into the lake from whence he came.As I watched this, I thought to myself, you might as well have given him a handful of flintstone vitamins and called him a cab.
I guess I was hoping for somewhat of a retelling of the first installment to see what could be added from todays perspective compared to 1980.But alas, it was just another by the numbers retread.Hopefully for the 13th one, we might get some fireworks.And in the meantime, bring on the inevitable Freddy origin movie to go along with the remakes of Psycho,Halloween,Texas chainsaw and Friday the 13th.At least Freddy comes with the witty one liners.
Friday the 13th.Rating 1 1/2 machete's
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Preach on brotha!
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I was with this film.
First off, was this a reboot or a sequel. It takes place after the events of the first film but ignores Part II-Freddy vs. Jason. So where does it fit in the Jason lexicon?
My main problem with the movie was that it just wasn't scary or suspenseful in any way. Not once did myself, my wife nor anybody else in the entire theater jump, scream, or give any indication that they were not asleep. My wife and I are genuine horror fans and when you see a GOOD horror movie in the theater there is a genuine tension that you can feel in the audience. That wasn't here at all. I mean there was more tension in the theater when we saw Turistas, and that isn't what you would call a classic slasher flick.
As you stated above, the characters in this film were AWFUL, to the point that you WANTED them to die. I was actively rooting for Jason, and then was disappointed when he killed them so quickly and unceremoniously.
Finally, not only has Jason been taking archery lessons, he apparently has taken up jogging. Which leads me to my final point... JASON DOSEN'T F***'N RUN!!!