Saturday, December 13, 2008

best and worst movies of 08

Welcome everyone to my very first blog.What we have here to day is a list of the best and worst movies that i have seen this year.Its been a slow year by my standards as I have only seen 55 movies so far in 08, a far cry from my record of 116 some ten years ago.And to clarify, these are movies that were viewed in theatres and not rentals or t.v.Support the arts!!
With that in mind...
We start with the worst.In top 5 format we have
5.The Mummy curse of the something or other.Starring Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Yetis
Heres a movie that can boast quite possibly the worst moment in cinematic history.Theres a scene in this horrid flick involving several yeti in the midst of a fight between good and not so good during wich said yeti kicks a bad guy and sends him flying threw the air and right between two temple towers.The kicking Yeti looks over at his yeti buddy who after watching the bad guy fly and then throws his arms up as if to signal a good field goal.
I stayed and finished the movie anyways.

4.The House Bunny.Starring Anna Ferris and Bruce Willis and Demi Moore lesbian daughter.
Ive but one gigantic complaint with this movie.Its about a washed up playboy playmate suddenly thrust into the real world outside the mansion.Heres the problem, Anna Ferris is playing a character who takes off her clothes for a living.Theres a scene with her naked bum in this movie and that only makes sense.What doesnt make sense however is the fact that its NOT her butt.Its a body double!That alone is reason enough to avoid this tripe.Although the art direction was beautiful on the other hand.What?

3.10,000B.C.Starring a boatload of terrible CGI and historical follies
O.K. Where to begin....Lets see, do I start with a life or death chase between our heroes and killer osteriches?Thats right. Osteriches.
Or do I begin with the scene at the building of the pyramids where the slave girl cries and her mascara runs.Thats right.Mascara.
The best part of this movie was my popcorn.

2.Burn after reading.Starring Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand
Everything here is sound.The acting is top notch, the players are funny, the story is well written and its well directed.I just found myself not caring in the slightest about what was unfolding.I was actually overwhelmed at the lack of pacing as this potentially hilarious black comedy simply inched along.I tried to like it, I really did.But in the end it was ultimately the most boring movie of the year.

1.88 Minutes.Starring Al Pacino, Leelee Sobieski, Al Pacinos hair.
Heres the scoop for anyone who doesnt know.This movie was initially passed on for a big screen release and went dircetly to DVD.What happened was, the writers strike of 08 forced reluctant studio heads to keep our mega movieplexes filled without interruption.This meant a breath of new life for 88 minutes and several other sub-par flicks.
The result is a ludacris game of cat and mouse with a terribly cast set of actors bumbling their way towards a paycheck.The casting was particularly hilarious when Pacino shared scenes with Sobieski who is easily 7 inches taller than her lead.They looked adorable.Another worthy mention, adding to this train wreck is Pacinos hair in this one.WOW just WOW.
I wish this movie came in chain letter form or were viral so that I could send it to all of you as some sort of relief after having had to sit thru it myself.A sort of 2 Pacinos 1 cup if you will .

Well, there you have it folks.MY worst of 08.stay tuned for the best of.coming soon.
Yours always in entertainment truth hurts.
Jordan Myles Minter

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