Robin Hood

Starring Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett

I was watching Russell on Letterman the other day and he said that there had been over 50 incarnations of Robin Hood in cinema to date and when Dave asked him why he made another, Crowe simply said that the others were lousy. Kevin Costner would beg to differ, hell, so would Mel Brooks.
This particular version had plenty of action and back story but much like poor Mr Costner, I found myself criticizing the casting and lack of genuine accents. Are there no English actors ready to take this on? Thanks anyways Americans and Aussies.
The movie in its opening weekend failed to take the top spot from Iron Man 2 and if that is any indication of where it will go from here, then Avatar it ain't.
But on a serious note, this was a good time killer and so too thought the sea of gray hairs in the theater amongst me. I often wonder if actors or even producers of movies like this consider their audience base on a whole. Young kids weren't exactly clamoring to get tickets for this one and the timing was sort of poor as well. Knowing full well that Iron Man was a juggernaut the first time around, why not wait until maybe 3 or 4 weeks after its release this time around?. That's why they get paid the big bucks folks.
Again, not much wrong with this one other than the occasional truant accent. Well told and easy on the eyes. Enjoy.
Rating 2 1/2 actual English people out of 5


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Oceans

Following the success of Disney's stunning 2009 film Earth, we delve deep into our oceans for a rare glimpse at some of the worlds strangest and most beautiful yet unseen creatures.
Narrated (laughingly) by 007 himself Pierce Brosnan in a rather hokey Twas The Night Before Christmas style, we journey from shore to shore and bare witness to some stunning scenes and sequences involving all of the oceans local residents and some casual visitors as well.
This film is mind bending at times and then Pierce brings you right back down to earth with some of the lamest commentary this side of a grade 6 museum tour. If you can tune him out and simply relax while taking in the spectacle before you, you will be pleasantly surprised.
I had many favourite scenes in this one and I would only sound like a nerd if I told you how totally awesome it was to see a deep sea diver in front of a jelly fish the size of a Volkswagon beetle, so I wont bother to geek out any further. I will however urge you to check this one out while it's still out on the big screen, as that is definitely the way to enjoy this one.
Never mind Remington Steel talking down to you, but rather, escape into a world that should help put your little problems in perspective.

Rating 3 dugong's out of 5

Kick Ass

Starring Nic Cage and McLovin

Like the masses surely fooled by the hype and previews, I went into this one knowing it was a sort of send up on the super hero genre with an adult twist but with a cast of kids. Fair enough. What I did not know however, was that the movie was a sort of mean spirited and upsetting at times cartoon come to life.
There are moments of pure enjoyment and fantastic action but on the other hand there are moments where an 11 year old girl is being shot in the chest, many in fact.
I havent been this conflicted on a film since last years Eden lake. The plot is absolutely nothing new and in fact at times seems like a direct rip off of the first Spiderman with Tobey McGuire (especially the end).
Some points of praise are the action sequences themselves with a stellar job done by all the stunt people involved and some fancy camera work to keep things fresh.
On the other hand, this movie suffers from absolutely horrid casting, namely Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin) as one of the "super heroes". This guy was great in Superbad and o.k in Role Models but the third time playing the same character is NOT the charm. He tries to take on a different persona and fails at every turn. He drives a nice car in it though.
Now onto poor old Nicolas Cage. Its almost as if after being laughed off of the big screen by test audiences years ago when he tried his hand at playing Superman, Cage has been hell bent on playing some sort of hero in movies. Whether it was Ghostrider or an almost Batman like rip off in Kick Ass he appears to have come to grips with the fact that it is his perpetually sad puppy dog look that keeps him from playing a hero whose face is not in disguise and I hope he has gotten it out of his system this time around.
Before I go, I will throw out another comparison for the rip off theme in this one and that is the movie The Professional where we have a grown man who is the hero that trains the super unlikely little girl to follow in his footsteps.
Believe me when I tell you that I liked this movie more than the review will suggest but based on all of the flaws, I have to give this one a low grade

Rating 1 1/2 terrible performances out of 5

Date Night

Starring Steve Carell and Tina Fey

The formula is simple and the recipe hasn't changed since Bruce Willis made this movie in 1987 (Blind Date), yet Tina Fey and Steve Carell are so likable that it really doesn't matter.
The movie is nice, not great, not lame but just plain nice and sometimes that's enough. Through a series of misunderstandings our heroic married couple find a way to rekindle their stagnant love life and relationship while encountering several other odd couples along the way. The holes in the plot are many but the cameos fill them enough so that you really don't mind.
Sit back and enjoy the one liners and celebrity pop ups and also be sure to stick around after the movie wraps to enjoy some decent out takes. If 30 Rock or The Office is a repeat on Thursday, then here ya go.
And for the record, this one is better than Bruce's.

Rating 2 expensive glasses of wine out of 5





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Hot Tub Time Machine

Starring John Cusack, Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry and Chevy Chase

It's about damn time we had a comedy that didn't care about itself or take itself too serious. Believe me when I tell all you high brow people that think this looks stupid based on the previews, THAT'S THE IDEA!!!!!!!!! Ive heard a few people say this movie looks dumb and yet these are the same people that shovel over their money to go see whatever else Hollywood decides to spoon feed them and pass off as a comedy and for the most part it comes down to star power. There is no huge current comedic actor in the forefront and maybe that's the source of your skepticism. Trust me, the people involved are funnier than or at least as funny as Jim Carrey or Seth Rogan of late.
Story? Shut up. This is a strong R rating and pulls no punches in the raunch dept. There's your story. Even John Cusack himself said it best when he called this the best hot tub time machine movie of all time. Crispin Glover is fantastic with a one armed running gag and for enthusiast's his presence is no accident (think time travel movies). The same can be said about Tom Lennon and his early appearance (he too was in a movie of the same vein). These little nods are clever if you can pick up on them.
The soundtrack is another reason to sit back and enjoy if the 80s were your bag with the likes of Public Enemy, Motley Crue, INXS and others.
That brings us to the best eye candy of all, the outfits/hairstyles are bang on and the whole atmosphere reeks of 1986 and its a good reek.
Not only am I recommending this movie for anyone old enough for this to mean something but I am also eagerly awaiting a sequel for either the 70s or 90s.

Rating 3 1/2 Red Dawn clips out of 5

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The Green Zone

Starring Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear

I will be the first to admit that after seeing the preview for this movie and knowing that it Starred Damon and was helmed by the man that brought us 2 of the 3 Bourne Redundancy movies, I expected more of the same. Luckily that wasn't the case. If you can call this a factual account of the search for the WMD's in Iraq that lead to Saddam Hussein's eventual downfall, then that's what we get.
Damon is leading a team in Iraq to several empty locations that promised a cache of these so called weapons of mass destruction and after the 3rd strike, he gets a little upset. Our hero starts to ask questions that no one wants to hear, questions like "Who is our intel source?" And "Why does he suck?"
The only major difference between the look of this film and the other Bourne movies is that Damon gets his ass kicked a few times here and isn't nearly as cool as he thinks he is. We are however treated to the same style of camera work that frankly ruined the Bourne franchise for me. From out of focus shots to blurry and shaky hand held garbage, movies like this are an epileptics nightmare. I fully get that this so called "style" is used to put the viewer in the action and make it all the more realistic, but in that regard it simply doesn't work. I'm sorry but there is one scene that starts off out of focus and that doesn't make me think I'm right there in the thick of it all. It makes me think that you made a gigantic mistake.
All of my griping about the technical disaster here aside, the story is rather engaging. From the Iraqi's point of view to the average American soldier thinking that something just isn't quite right, we gain several perspectives as to the atmosphere of the time and the course of events that lead us to 7 years later still cleaning up the poorly run campaign/war that began with "Shock and Awe"
For war nerds and history buffs, this movie works. For the action fan, it works just as well. But for people that would rather watch a cleanly filmed and frankly better war movie such as The Hurt Locker, maybe you should skip this one.

Rating 2 lousy intel reports out of 5

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Cop Out

Starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan

Kevin Smith tries his hand at the old buddy cop formula here and well, 48 hrs it ain't.
That being said, there are some funny moments here and there from Tracy Morgans character who is pretty much just his 30 Rock persona only with a gun. Between the shouting of every punchline and zinger the more subtle lines end up being the best. Willis looks tired and perhaps that's warranted after having played a cop in at least a dozen films to date, but he manages to let Morgan do his thing and believe me, this isn't a Bruce Willis movie despite his top billing.
Now onto the little things that tick me off in movies like this. I know Kevin Smith doesn't have the biggest budget in the world but small things like the thugs having tattoos that look like an 8th grade art class drew and applied them just kinda bugs me. Sloppy oversights like no one wearing seat belts, cops or bad guys, just seems lazy. Also the over use of certain Latin bad guys is getting stale quickly. The head baddy here is played by Guillermo Diaz and you may recognize him as playing the Latin bad guy in The Shield, Weeds, Law And Order, E.R, The Sopranos or in other drug related movies like High School High, Half Baked and so on. WE GET IT!!!!! You are the only actor that can play a no good Latino. This sort of type casting makes me cringe.
Again, you get what you pay for I guess.
I did at least love the soundtrack with the film opening to the Beastie Boys No Sleep Til Brooklyn and keeping an old school flair with Run DMC and even a little Poison thrown in for good measure. The music fit nicely into every scene, especially the one with the bad guy Mexicans and Insane In The Brain (Spanish version) by Cypress Hill being the backdrop. Clever.
You will chuckle here if you like Tracy Morgan but he definitely isn't for everyone. All others, tread lightly.

Rating 2 movie quotes out of 5



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